Home sweet home

It’s the end of the five-day Easter break here in Iceland and I’ve spent the entirety of it at home alone, partly because of tightened Covid restrictions and partly just because. 

Luckily I’m OK with solitude and am happiest at home, but being home alone ALL the time is a challenge even for me. Working full-time from home means the lines between work and life can get blurred, even more so when you live in a small space and your office is also your living room. Carving out time and space for creative projects is another challenge.

And while I’ve slowly been getting back to the crochet projects I’d set aside for so long, my main focus has been on making this space work for all the things - living space, work space, creative space. Now that I own a home by myself for the first time, I’m determined to make it truly mine.

It’s a work in progress (and let’s face it, there will always be something that needs doing), but I’m not in a hurry. I’m taking my time and trying my best to only bring in things I either really need or really love, things that have purpose and meaning. I’m aiming for warm, comfortable and uncluttered, with a place for everything and everything in its place. Most of all, I want it to reflect - and feel like - me. I want it to feel like home.

Goodbye 2020

I’ve never been so happy to see the end of a year. 2019 was the continuation of a tough cycle for me personally, but 2020 was objectively terrible for literally everyone, and I’m glad it’s over. We lived through a pandemic. Some lived through unimaginable loss. I lived through a divorce, losing a much-longed-for adoption, turning 50, buying my first apartment, and eight months in Canada looking after my mom through cancer treatment before selling her home and moving her to a retirement home to be properly supported by people much better qualified than me (she’s doing well!).

It’s been a lot. 

I spent this New Year’s Eve in my own apartment back in Iceland, reading through my journals from the past year to see how far I’ve progressed. I’m not sure about progress, but I did find some common themes - a big focus on Healing with a capital H and working really hard to become a Better Person™. Lots of affirmations, intentions and goals, none of which I actually accomplished.

But I could also see that I wasn’t as lost or broken as I thought I was all that time. I saw resilience and fortitude. Compassion and forgiveness. Gratitude and bounce-back and “today is a new day”. And I was pleasantly surprised.

Today is a new day. For today at least, I’m going to resist setting a bunch of goals or intentions or making plans or promises. I’ll just try to be and do the best I can - one thing at a time, one day at time - and let that take me where I need to go.

The photo accompanying this post is of the first project I picked up, let alone finished, in a year. It’s not perfect (I’m not sure I even like them!) and I might never write the pattern, but that’s OK. It just felt good to hold a hook again, a bit like coming back to myself. I have many more projects and patterns on the back burner to pick up again this year - one thing at a time, one day at a time.

Here’s to coming back to ourselves in 2021.